Man’s Best Friend

This would likely be a prime opportunitty to talk quickly about Man’s Best friend. And no, I am not talking about Dogs, although our new dog here is quite the charachter, there is nothing quite like some small animal who is excited beyond belief at your arrival back home, rewarding you with several strategically placed poops. Totally unlike my cats, of course, who are far less interested when you come home, assuming you dont have tuna fish on you, but understod from the first day where to poop, only breaking that rule when they are angry, and have a point to make.

But we are off topic, the point was Man’s Best Freind, which everyone knows is Alka-Seltzer. Specifically, Alka-Seltzer Morning relief, but any of the variations will do in a pinch. there are those non-believers out there who do not know that magic spell woven by those fizzing wizards when you need them, and I am always happy to pull them into the light when needed. A notable example of this occuring was the MacWorld Expo from several years back, sharing a room with five of my close friends, this was our yearly geekfest and drinking binge. The particular year in memory, we har a rather nasty night of sitting about after the normal pub crawll, and polishing off a few fifths of scotch and burbon. Woe be to us for not realizing that that was a few Liters, not fifths, and we woke the next day not understanding the ramification of our mathmatical error.

My reaction to the pain and blurriness was to immediatly call upon my stock of pharmecuticals to try to bring me out of the stupor. With no glasses remaining (they disappeared along with a few chairs and the remnants of the booze late in the previous evening) I was forced to fill a paper glass cap with two tablets, and some water, and slurp the mixture down like a oyster. Naturally, it worked like a charm and I was battered, but back in business. The effects sold several of my crowd on the experience, and they quickly went through my stash of the stuff, resurrecting most of our party in the process. Sadly, there were lasting effects from the evening, namely something became unbalanced in the lower GI tract of a few of us, I suffering the worst.

Fortunately bathrooms were an easy find at the Expo center, and at the airport, and on the plane, with the fast dash towards same accompanied with the chant "Liquidation sale, all shit must go!"

I still pity the sad bastard on the plane who was seated next to that bathroom.