I have been reluctant to get involved in their business for the most part. Partially because of my lack of football expertise, which I can tell that they both have plenty of as I try to keep up on their statistics, cataloging of players and their histories, and multitude of bets and side bets going on in the game. The other thing making me keep my distance is the feeling that I actually got between these two without a drink in my hand I would get ground down by the sheer animosity between them, like falling between two millstones set to “frappe”.
A commercial came on, and the Doctor wandered over to the Kitchen, stretching his lags and scavenging for nuts and pretzels.
I finally got the nerve to ask, “So if you two are at such odds with each other, how come you always appear here as a pair?”
The Doctor gave me a stern look, bearing down on me for a second with his eyes, trying to get inside my head and biting down on his cigarette holder, knocking ash into my beer as he leaned in towards my face. He then gave a wide toothy grin and started to talk.
“You see,” he rotated the cigarette to the other side of his mouth with his teeth as he spoke. “I’m not too sure. There are several aspects that I think are involved. Dichotomy, Duality, the Divine Comedy of it all.”
His smile grew wider with his impromptu alliteration.
“But mostly I think we are stuck together because it drives him batshit crazy, as if that was a long drive to begin with. And football is where we are an equal match, which makes him insane.” The Doctor smiled again as he pulled the butt out of his cigarette holder, and reached to replace it with a fresh one.
“Maybe this is your punishment, not mine,” Dick muttered back at us, not even bothering to look over his shoulder.
“Silence you goddamn crooked pigfucker!” The Doctor threw a handful of nuts at Dick’s head, peppering him and the TV as well.
The both erupted into a fit of random yelling, which was impossible to follow. Suddenly, Dick grew quiet.
“Here it comes.” Dick was looking around.
What?” yelled the Doctor, then he got quiet as well. “Shit! Better finish this fast!” and he started downing the beer in his hand.
The bottle hit the floor as he vanished, bone dry. Fortunately, Dick had put his Martini down so the glass didn’t break when he vanished. Awfully considerate, I thought. It was just the same as always. I had lost count as to the first time these two appeared and then disappeared during a game, but I was used to it now.
I looked about the place. For two ghosts, these guys were a serious fucking mess.