The cat jumped on me while I was sleeping last night, changing what ever it was that I was dreaming into a dream of an intruder in our house. The intruder was downstairs stealing wood paneling (which we don’t actually have any of, and if we did I’d give him a hand), and I turned on lights to startle him, while Yulia picked up Oscar, our Daschund, and used him as a Barking Gun(tm), pelting the intruder with sonic blasts to drive him out.
I so need therapy.
Cognitive Dissonance 
You write so funny! Please write something for other people to reed! More people will have a better day, because you made them laugh.
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Therapy or a different bedtime snack.
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God forbid this thing actually make it easy to make ones name appear next to your comments.
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Goddamnit. Mark, drop me an email explaining how to make this thing put my name up there instead of (no name).- Jack
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