I have been working so hard today to try and conjure up some sympathy over hearing about Hillary’s sudden onset of emotion and the aftermath of shock that has struck the media hereafter. But it just doesn’t seem to be coming. I might feel callous about my lack of empathy over someone who appears to have had a genuine moment of reflection under the hot spotlight of the campaign trail, and temper my critical eye with the understanding that anyone can have a moment of emotion under this level of scrutiny and pressure, but no.
I simply am not buying into either side of this circus.
The two choices of "she’s finally showing us her emotional and caring side" and "she’s too weak to be president" both choose, willfully or not, to ignore what we know of our own human nature, and what we already know of Hillary from years of proximity and scrutiny.
I cry sometimes. When my close friend, Charles Lasseter, died from cancer, when I see truly tragic circumstances in the ruined lives of innocent people, even some movies pull tears from my eyes (when the wife isn’t looking). Events that strike at the core human values of justice and fairness do this for everyone with a warm beating heart (this offer may not apply to all Republicans, please check your conscience for details and exclusions). But I saw no event of that emotional nature in Hillary’s world today. Not in that interview, and not in her words of explanation.
She was claiming that the injustice in the process was too much. That the callousness of those in the running with her was unfair to the forgotten electorate, and that this has wide impacting effects on us and our children. And that that made her spill with emotion. And perhaps some portion of that response is truly genuine. But if so, then it makes me feel only more sad for her strange, detached state of being.
Throughout this whole, fast news cycle of Hillary’s emotional exposure, the shocking thing has not been what she broke down about, but that she was capable of breaking down at all. She has kept herself on such a tight leash and so thoroughly scripted, that we began to buy into the whole Robo-Hilary meme, to the extent that any display of emotion in itself was shocking.
But look for a moment at what she said, and how she broke down. She was not feeling sympathy for some lost family or unfair turn of events for the average voter. It was a tragedy in the process. others did not take the running as seriously as she did, did not have the same reverence for the electoral game as she did. and while she gave good lip towards the end result of this process, and its eventual effect of the actual voters, her general remorse at the happenings speaks to me of the true source of her discontent.
She bought into her own inevitability, and can’t handle the reality of Iowa well.
Maybe anything could have set her off at this point, but it wasn’t a reaction of sympathy towards those that she hopes to govern that I saw, but self pity and doubt swelling to the surface. The first time that she perhaps had seen the chances of her nomination dropping, being pushed into third out of the gate, must have been devastating. Most any other candidate would have kept this in the back of their head, but I would gather that Hillary did not.
Perhaps she will use this event to take a second look at her actions towards her governed, and towards the soldiers and the families that her truly callous and calculating votes about the war have wrought, or perhaps this will just blow over in a day or so. But it is a glimpse inward into this candidate, and not all is well in the balance of her soul.
She is still far far better than any of the foul Republican challengers, who couldn’t scrape their soul for a tenth of the emotion, self-serving or not, that Hillary showed. but Hillary should take this to re-evaluate herself a bit.
I certainly am doing just that.
[crossposted to dailykos]