Brexit at Tiffany’s

Rumble in the Jungle

Well, the news can’t stop rolling on about the dumpster fire that is the European Union, but that’s behind us now. Literally, as we walk past the blaring TV with CNN over the bar on the way to the gate. It’s the end of June, and that means we are on vacation. I probably should have started with a “Here Today, Gone to Maui” joke, as Maui is our destination, but the joke was too lame, even for me.

We have two weeks on the island, and it’s been many years sine we were there, so I’m really looking forward to this. My family used to vacation in Lahaina, and it is one of my favorite locations. It appears to be more developed, but everything is now, so I guess it’s all relative. The important thing is that it is away, and we are heading there.

We booked everything months ago. We got a screaming deal on a condo in Kaanapalli, and great seats in the Premium Plus section of Hawaiian airlines. We got the front row right behind first class, so the legroom is enormous. There’s power, blankets, pillows, and gentle Hawaiian music playing around us. This is too nice too fast, so I’m waiting to get sucker-punched or something. Usually this is the point where a screaming child vomits or shits themselves near me, but it’s all quiet so far.

Too quiet. Can’t wait until drinks service.

It’s an oddball configuration. This is an Airbus A330, and we entered the plane behind our section. Just the premium and First Class seats are here. There’s a Galley separating us from the rest of the plane. I think that’s what makes this feel so odd. it’s really isolated. We have little TV screens to play with, and these seats really recline.

It’s nice, But I think I’m still too wound up from the week to let my brain wind down. Yulia is in the same state, work was crazy for both of us running up to our leaving. Each day approaching our flight was getting busier and busier as last minute crap rolled in. This on top of the regular “Don’t forget to…” list before travel really left us wiped out. We spent last night drinking wine trying to calm down.

Hell, I was so scattered I almost forgot to pack underwear and socks.

We’ve been in flight for nearly an hour, and still no drinks service. I thought this was Hawaiian Air, not Utah Air. Bollocks. I managed to score some Chocolate covered Macadamia nuts, so I guess I can go for a sugar high.

I had planned to log into work to check up on mail, but it appears there is no in flight Wi-Fi. This is not a bad thing. I’m stocked up on books and music, so it looks like I just need to calm the fuck down and start relaxing.

Service runs on Island Time, but the drink and food are great. I’ve gone through two Mai Tai’s, all the chocolate, and we’ve had a complementary lunch of Eggplant pasta with red wine. My brain is finally unwinding. Yulia keeps stealing my wine. I assume it’s for quality control. I’m glad she’s here to make sure things are top notch.

I downloaded a Maui Guidebook before we left. It has some good detail on the Road to Hana, which is a side trip we have planned during our stay, and details on some good hikes, which Sasha and Yulia are very excited about. I’m planning on hiking to the bar. I’m outdoorsy that way and these excursions help make me one with nature.  Rum is part of nature so it all works out.

I’m actually most excited to just see the town of Lahaina again. As a kind our winter vacation was to Maui every other year or so. We didn’t do a lot of summer travel, so this was the big family trip. We always stayed in a condo near Lahaina. Usually Kaanapali, which I remember being very small and local, growing larger each trip. In town, Lahaina Broiler was the big restaurant to eat at. There was a tree growing in the middle of the place, and the dining room was built out over the water. The steaks were good, everything else was ok, but the sunsets were worth the price of admission. It burned years ago, and is now a Bubba Gump Shrimp Company. I think the tree is still there.

The whole town might be four blocks in one direction, five in another. The waterfront rotates through various places, but it has always seemed that when a restaurant closes, a very similar one opens in it’s place. Signs change but the shops remain the same.

I can’t wait to see the place. I wonder what the signs say.

One Reply to “Brexit at Tiffany’s”

  1. Calm the fuck down Hanch, relax, and enjoy your vacation! Oh, and drink a Mai Tai or two for me! Say hi to my mistress.


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