Good For Cuts and Bruises

For some unknown reason we slept pretty well. We couldn’t sleep in too much because we had a presentation to avoid. Tony the Tiger had tagged us for a morning breakfast and presentation – and we snuck out to avoid him. There was no way we were interested in some presentation on the resort. Naturally, this meant that as soon as we stepped out tony caught us. Fine. We wanted breakfast and coffee anyway, so what the hell.

Five hours later we were signed up for the vacation club. It worked in our favor since Yulia was “good vacation cop” and I was “bad cop”. The deal was pretty good for a basic level (it’s a club not timeshare – and Yulia beat a shitload of) and we squeezed as much out of it as possible, including an upgrade to our current rooms and access. We met Sasha for lunch, and used out new access to head over to pools in the adult-only exclusive section of the resort. We spent the rest of the day walking back and forth swimming in various pools.

There is an infinity pool at the far end of the property. It includes two bars, but the actual infinity part is mathematically impossible. Unless they are counting the egos of the people lounging around in thongs and speedos. I suppose that comes pretty close. Just a short walk from there is the salt water tide pool. This has gates at the top that let ij fresh sea water at high tide that you can swim in, but since it is Sargasso seaweed season, the whole thing is filled at the bottom with Sargasso grass, and the pool has the color and smell of Iodine.

This isn’t as bad as it seems since Sargasso is part of Chinese Medicine, so we swam in this soup – and I’m not lying if my skin didn’t clear up from my standard heat rash. But wow – that smell will not wash off. You leave smelling like a skinned knee at Boy Scout Camp. We hit two more pools and kept swimming until a short rain shower hit and passed again. I could still smell “Eau du First Aid Kit” on us.

After dinner we headed back – Sasha and Petru had their room upgraded to something larger and closer to the main pool. Yulia and I would get upgraded in a day. That’s not a normal thing to get with the club but Yulia beat it out of them with our upgraded wrist bands – also not a normal thing. Did I mention she lived in Turkey for over 2 years and considered going to the markets as a sport?

Back in our room, Yulia and I could hear loud music going on somewhere nearby. The jungle in the resort is pretty thick so you can’t actually see too far, so we went down to investigate. Back on our beach there was a DJ setup with Dance Music, a beach bar, and the works! So we hung out and Yulia Danced while I gyrated menacingly for a bit. A shot of tequila helped and I attempted some form of arm movement while gyrating. Yulia wisely danced away from me to avoid the shame and returned once she was beat. We headed back to the room to pass out.

Unfortunately, at three in the morning – someone came back with a Bluetooth speaker blearing in the hallway and proceeded to hold a dance party somewhere in the building. I was too tired to even pick up the phone to call the front desk – but someone else did and they quieted down eventually.

At least tomorrow is a spa day so we don’t need to rush to get up.

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